I’m a paranoid guy. Not sure if that’s the word I was looking for, but I notice a whole lot of things around me. I pay attention to too much stuff. Sometimes I think it borders on lunacy. I have opinions on nearly everything around me. Other people just walk along the metro with their heads down, not minding other people’s business. I’m almost the opposite. If I spoke whatever was on my mind, I’d be punched by everyone around me. What can I say? The freedom of thought never hurt anybody, and there isn’t any god damn law that abridges that. So yeah, this won’t be about any definite subject; just talking and talking (typing and typing, okay).
1) Fried Chicken.
I’m still convinced that everybody in this forsaken planet has black genes. Nobody hates fried chicken. Whenever I walk home, I see KFC, and it’s never empty. Jollibee, especially, never runs out of customers. You think the kids go there for their half-pound Champs? Hell No! They go there for the Chicken Joy.
Jollibee always tries to innovate with half-assed products like Tender Beef and Crisscut Fries, but those ain’t erasing the public’s craving for Aga Muhlach and Crispylicious, Juicylicious Chicken Joy. The reason why McDonald’s is slowly on its way down is because they don’t use their Fried Chicken enough in advertisements. They have the best fries, though. But that ain’t got nothing on fried chicken. We are all black.
1.2) This is just a theory I have, but a reasonable one, concerning fast food since I’m on the subject. Fast food was never made to be healthy. It was made to be prepared in the shortest time possible. It’s hard to balance rushed preparations and the nutrition found in your food. But man was never naturally health-conscious. It’s only until they or the people around them start picking up diseases that they start watching their lifestyle.
I ramble too much, let me get to the point. Fast food is usually served with soft drinks. That’s the culprit, right there. Studies have shown that cold liquids do not get along with the human’s digestive processes. But nobody likes a hot cup of fucking Coke. You might as well get coffee. Then again, soft drinks aren’t healthy to begin with. There you have it. After you succumb to your black ancestry by chomping down on 2 pieces of chicken, you proceed to contribute to your increasing weight by gulping down that Large Diet Coke.
So stop kidding yourselves. If you want to slim down and remain alive until 85, ease up on the fast food.
2) I do not believe in diet.
When I say “diet”, I’m talking about the slang term fat people have for it.
“Want to grab something to eat?”
“No thanks, I’m on a diet.”
Fuck that. These days, a lot of people have replaced the term ‘fasting’ with ‘diet’. People believe that skipping out on meals will burn their double chins and barrel stomachs. While that is true to some extent, passing on breakfast, lunch and/or dinner is not even half of what one has to do to get rid of that fat.
There has been a lot of suggestions for slimming down posted all over the Internet, the magazines and the newspapers. But I believe in only one foolproof method: fucking exercise. Get off that damn chair, stop whining about how fat you think you are (even if you’re not) on Facebook or Twitter, and SWEAT. Exercise is recommended for plenty of situations, man. Even when you think you’re not a bouncing ball of cholesterol, exercise is pretty much mandatory. It keeps you in shape.
Dial down on the cakes, the chips, the seasonings, the fucking MSG, the soft drinks and the energy drinks (which have more sugar than soft drinks). Staying off the wrong food has more ups than not eating anything at all. Keep that in mind.
My grandfather says, “You can eat all the sugar and cholesterol you want, as long as you burn it.”
My auntie, on the other hand, says, “Pray before eating, and you can eat anything you want.”
3) Nobody asked me but…here are some beauty tips for women.
- Get rid of the disguise.
- Be yourself.
- Trash that red lipstick.
- Laugh heartily.
- Don’t be afraid of the sun.
- Be thrifty with that makeup.
- Learn to stand on your own feet.
- Stop caring about what other women think about you.
- Stop caring about what other people think about you. (Including me, I guess.)
- What matters is what you see yourself beautiful in.
- Get rid of the heels.
Okay, that last part was just me. Actually a lot of that list is. But nothing beats making peace with your inner self. Just a piece of advice. Carry on.